Why Kuririn Needs a Wallet Chain
by PockySamurai
Summary: (DragonballE) Kuririn and Juuhachigou go out on a date, and something happens leading to humorous attempts at getting home. (Did I mention that the city the're in happens to be in a no-fly zone?)


Raijin: Kamislash does not own DBZ, ya know

Fujin: DISCLAIMED!

Rated PG-13 for language and innuendo.

This Fanfic is a part of my Dragonball E series; it takes place in the same timeline as "Blood Brothers", "They Do Mix", and "It Didn't Begin With Love" (not released yet).

Takes place on the same day as the fourth Chapter of "They Do Mix".

"Why Kuririn Needs a Wallet Chain"

Chapter 1: A Movie

~~East Capital~~

Arm in arm walked a man and a woman; a happy couple. The woman was tall and slender, but with just the right amount of curves. Long was her blond hair that blew in the mild wind. Her green eyes were beautiful and almost haunting. The man was smaller of stature, but enormous in heart. Black hair went wildly in two directions from his round head, and two dots could be seen on his forehead. Another peculiar feature was the fact that he had no nose. Indeed it was Kuririn of Orinji and Jinzouningen(1) Juuhachigou. Few recognized them, and they said nothing that would disturb their time together. Their daughter Marron was being babysat by the Sons, in addition Oolong and Roshi were staying there. So that evening it was just the two of them…Kuririn and Juuhachigou on a date.

They stepped lively as they neared the "East City Entertainment 21 Cinema". The theatre had, of course, twenty-one screens, all of which were stadium seated and had the best digital surround sound you ever heard. Kuririn pulled his wallet from his front pocket when they reached the cashier…

"Two for The Fall of The Demon Lord, please" he inquired

The ticket master handed him two small pieces of cardboard. "Theater twelve, down the hall on your left. Have a lovely evening"

_The Fall of The Demon Lord _was an action thriller based on the terror that Piccolo Daimaou set upon the world, and how after even the army couldn't beat him one man vanquished the fiend. Kuririn knew, of course, who the real hero was, and so did the King of Earth. The aging monarch consented to the film's production grudgingly, but refused to release the true name of the mysterious warrior who defeated Piccolo Daimaou; this at the request of Goku himself. Normally, Kuririn didn't particularly care for movies based on his and the other Z Senshi's "legendary exploits", but Juuhachigou wanted to see this one; and only because Barry Kahn (2) was in it. Barry Kahn was a very popular teen superstar of the day, and all his movies were a hit with the female audience just when he was there. Kahn's role in this film was the lead; in other words, unbeknownst to all but Kuririn and Juu, was playing Son Goku.

Kahn slammed the ground "Tortoise Bum…Chestnut…Chop-suey…Fan-Ran…Rangir…Manu…all dead…killed by that accursed Piccolo and his disgusting spawn!" (3)

His samurai partner rested his hand on his shoulder "My friend…we must be strong…we can defeat Piccolo together! Here…"

Kahn was handed a bottle of water "is this the Light Water? No…thanks, but it's just tap water…"

"But it is not the Light Water! It's the Mithril Elixir!"

"You mean this stuff is for real?"

As Kahn drank the water, he flailed an screamed with agony. Juuhachigou jumped and held Kuririn tighter.

"He isn't going to…?"

"No, remember who he's playing?"

"Oh…right…"

Kuririn noticed that his wallet had slid halfway out of his pocket during that embrace. He slid it back in.

__

"I really should get a chain…"

Energy blasts flared in vivid detail. The miracle of special effects, great as they were, were nothing compared to the real thing, Kuririn thought as he watched.

"Now you DIE!" laughed Piccolo Daimaou

"I…must…not…LOSE!" shouted Kahn

Kahn charged forth and with one punch, blasted the Demon King's chest out. The green monster melted into a puddle of goo. Kahn fell to his knees. His samurai friend and a beautiful woman with armor came to his aid.

"It's…over…it's finally over…"

"My love…you're hurt!" cried the woman

"S'okay, Chibusa (4)…I can take a Magic Pea…you guys…why did you come with me on my journey…all this way…anyway?"

The Samurai empathically replied "Because we just wanted to be with you, buddy."

The credits rolled, and the movie ended.

________________________________________________________________________

How did you like it? Can you guess where this is going?

Same rules as always!

1) Jinzouningen means "Artificial Human". Jinzouningen Juuhachigou is Number 18's full name. Info courtesy of the wonderfully informative www.ultimatedbzinfo.com. You should really check it out!

2) Barry Kahn is a celebrity that Akira Toriyama made up. In the Buu saga, Fat Buu tries to Imitate Barry Kahn so a girl won't be afraid of him. (In the American version, Buu rambles on about how "Earth girls don't know what they want" and starts with a whole bunch of encounter group garbage. They even made innocent, childlike Buu say SEXY! I hate FUNi so fricking much, ya!)

3) These are all plays on the names of real casualties of the Piccolo Saga of Dragonball.

4) Chibusa is, like Chichi, a Japanese word for the feminine pectoral region. I KNOW Chichi and Goku didn't get together until the 23rd Budoukai, but since when are movies historically accurate? (Heh…sometimes I even make myself laugh my bum off…)

NEXT TIME:

Kuririn takes Juu to dinner…afterwards the trouble starts!!!!!!!!!!!


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